“Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other’s eyes for an instant?” – Henry David Thoreau
I recently watched the video below, entitled “Empathy”, which was shared with the Cleveland Clinic Staff by CEO Tony Cosgrove, MD, during his State of the Clinic address. It’s difficult to watch this without shedding a few tears.
Empathy is at the heart of leading people who follow you because they want to and not because they have to. Without understanding what team members hear, see and feel, it’s impossible to care for them as a servant-leader.
So what are some of the characteristics of leading with empathy?
1. Understanding
In order to empathize with team members, it’s important to understand their perspectives. Because we are all wired differently, we each have different perspectives. When we say something, others may hear it differently than the way we intend. They may see challenges in different ways than we do, or feel the weight of them differently. Empathy is entering into others’ worlds and seeing things from their perspectives. When we do this, we appreciate others’ views and can join them. Only then can we walk their journeys with them and help guide them to the vision we desire for them to own, as we do. It leads to full engagement.
2. Generosity
How you interact with team members is extremely important, and giving someone your full attention is an act of generosity. For example, if you say, “John I need this by 1:00 today,” you are not truly interacting because your statement is one-sided.
However, if you were to say, “John, you look tired today. How are you feeling? Is anything going on that you’d be willing to share?” This allows John the opportunity to explain, as he likes, anything that may be going on personally. It affirms team members when you ask questions that go beyond the status quo. Another example may be in your response when a team member asks you for your opinion. Are you generous by giving them your full attention? By both listening and actively engaging in conversation, you reveal empathy, and convey that you are worthy of being followed.
3. Sharing
Sometimes our team members carry loads that were never meant to be carried alone. They need us to notice and help share the load. Perhaps someone needs a day off to handle an emergency situation, or more flexibility in his or her schedule to deal with a special needs child or aging parent. Recognizing that everyone comes to work as a whole person gives you an opportunity to demonstrate empathy.
None of these characteristics are possible unless you are intentional about connecting and interacting with your team on a regular basis. Sometimes it is so easy to get inundated with the challenges of the day that we forget about the people who are watching us. Who need our encouragement. Who want to follow us because we see what they hear, see and feel. They are the team members who are looking for us to lead from the heart, with empathy.
If you could stand in their shoes… would you lead differently?
Share Your Thoughts: Have you been on the receiving end of empathy? Explain how it helped?